


You Feel Like Home

by Bex90



Category: Shameless (US), gallavich - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Protective!Ian, TW: claustraphobia, tw: panic attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-18
Updated: 2016-08-18
Packaged: 2018-08-09 13:15:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7803376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bex90/pseuds/Bex90
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mickey has a panic attack on a crowded train and Ian's there to help him through it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Feel Like Home

**Author's Note:**

> I saw this list of prompts on Tumblr and one of them was this. 
> 
> This is based on a real life event that happened to me recently. I was Mickey but I didn't have anyone helping me through it like Mickey has Ian. My outcome was very different and to this day I still struggle to use public transport in peak hour.

Ian cursed himself as the packed train rattled along the line. Why had they left it so late to get home? Mickey had been ready to leave hours before they’d actually left. Now Ian was wishing he’d listened to his boyfriend. Each time the train stopped more people crammed themselves into the carriage. Ian was forced to move away from Mickey with each stop to make room for the new passengers. Ian tried to keep an eye on Mickey but the more people who got on the train, the harder that became. He could see Mickey had pulled the hood of his sweater over his head, a clear sign he wasn’t coping very well. After almost fifteen years together Ian knew Mickey’s mood and tells as well as he knew the man himself. 

Mickey stood near the door with his hand wrapped around the metal pole in front of him, knuckles white with anxiety. He couldn’t feel Ian pressed him against his back like he had been when they first boarded the train so Mickey was grateful he’d put Ian’s hoodie on this morning. The hoodie hadn’t been washed yet so it still smelt heavily of Ian and it helped keep Mickey grounded. Mickey closed his eyes and his entire body tensed as the train jolted, sending a heavy set man into him. The man mumbled an apology and tried to shift away from Mickey. The train stopped, the doors opened and people piled in and out of the train, bumping into Mickey as they tried to move into the smallest of spaces. Mickey was now wedged between a tall lanky man with headphones in and a curly brown haired woman who was chattering loudly on her phone. He looked up and spotted Ian in the round mirror was that in the corner of the carriage. Their eyes met in the mirror. You’re ok Ian mouthed as he kept up the eye contact. Mickey managed the smallest of nods before screwing his eyes closed at the train jolted again. His head was spinning and his breathing quickened as even more people pushed their way onto the train. Surely there’s some sort of health violation with this many people on the train. The thought lodged itself into Mickey’s brain and it was like a domino effect. Within seconds Mickey was convinced he was going to die if he didn’t get off this train. As the panic rose from his gut into his throat Mickey found it increasingly hard to breath. Where the hell was Ian? Why did he feel like he was choking? His entire body felt so tight and restricted. 

Ian tried to push his way towards his boyfriend. Their eyes met in the mirror and Ian’s fears were confirmed, Mickey needed help. But he only managed to get a few inches forward before the train jolted again and sent him back to where he started. Ian dug his phone out of his pocket and dialled Mickey’s number.  
“I need to get off Ian” Mickey’s voice was barely audible. Under any other circumstances Ian would’ve made a joke about Mickey’s comment, but not today. A joke wasn’t want Mickey needed.  
“We’re almost home Mick, only a few more stations” Ian reassured him. “You’re doing great”  
“I can’t breathe, if I can’t breathe I’m gonna die” Mickey was panicking.  
“Mickey just focus on my voice, ok? I won’t let anything bad happen to you” Ian said.  
“Where are you? I can’t see you” Mickey looked around him as he spoke.  
“I’m behind you, in the corner. I can’t reach you right now” Ian explained. The train pulled into another station, people disembarked and then boarded. “Only four more stations Mick, you got this”

Mickey tried to focus on Ian’s voice in his ear, his smell from the hoodie. His hands shook as the train continued to rattle along the tracks. What if it came off the tracks? He’d be crushed by all these people. He’d never get to see Ian again. Or Mandy. Or Yev. He wanted to see his family again.  
“Mick, talk to me” Ian’s soothing voice was in his ear again. “What can you see?”  
“There’s so many people, too many people” Mickey muttered, his eyes darting around the carriage.  
“Look out the window” Ian instructed. “Tell me what you see”  
“The sun’s setting, there’s so many colours in the sky” Mickey said.  
“Good Mick, what colours can you see?” Ian asked, hoping the distraction would work. Mickey rattled off the various colours of the sunset as the train arrived and then departed another station.  
“Only three more stations Mick” Ian said once Mickey was quiet. “What about smells? What can you smell around you?”  
“People. Really bad BO” Mickey said, causing Ian to chuckle. “The girl next to me smells really musky” Mickey buried his nose his Ian’s hoodie and sniffed. “You”  
Ian couldn’t hide his smile. “What do I smell like?”  
“Peppermint, cigarettes and sex” Mickey replied, softly. “You smell like home”  
Ian blushed and ducked his head. “We’re almost there Mick. Only two more stations”  
They were quiet, just listening to each other breathing and the rattle of the train. Mickey was beginning to feel calmer and more in control. He was so focused on a loose thread of Ian’s hoodie he wasn’t aware that the man himself had managed to make his way over.  
“Hey” Ian put a hand on the small of Mickey’s back and pulled his phone away from his ear with the other. Mickey’s entire body sagged in relief at the contact and he leaned into Ian. For once in his life, Mickey didn’t care they were surrounded by people. He just wanted to touch his boyfriend. Ian put both their phones in his back pocket before leaning back on the metal pole and wrapping his arms around Mickey’s shoulders, as Mickey wrapped his own around Ian’s waist.  
“You’re ok Mick, I’m right here” Ian whispered when he heard a small sob from Mickey.  
“How many more stations?” Mickey asked, his voice muffled by Ian’s shirt.  
“The next one is ours” Ian replied softly. 

Minutes later the train came to a stop at their station and Mickey and Ian were the first ones off.  
Mickey thought getting off the train would’ve stopped the feelings of panic and claustrophobia he’d had the entire journey. But the second his feet hit the platform a rush of dizziness hit him, making his head spin and it hard to breathe. He wanted to vomit, to rid his body of this horrid feeling.  
“Ian” Mickey said, reaching for him blindly.  
“I got you Mick” Ian’s large hands were on him, steadying him. Ian was wrapping his arms around Mickey again, tighter this time and pulling him towards a small brick building. Mickey wasn’t aware of the stares they were getting but Ian was. The redhead glared at anyone who dared look their way. Mickey clung to Ian, fisting the fabric of the younger man’s shirt. Ian steered them into an alcove and backed up against the brick so Mickey could lean onto him. He rubbed soothing circles into Mickey’s back as the older man’s breathing steadied.  
“I’m sorry” Mickey said eventually, pulling away enough to look up at Ian.  
“Don’t ever apologise for something like this Mick, it’s not your fault. You once told me not to apologise for my bipolar. So I’m telling you not to apologise for your anxiety” Ian said firmly.  
“Ok, thank you” Mickey nodded before tilting his head and kissing Ian chastely.  
“You ready to go home now?” Ian asked.  
“I am home” Mickey mumbled against Ian’s lips. Mickey straightened up and held his hand out to Ian, who smiled widely and took it.


End file.
